Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Constant Itch

Ok, so I think I took the fits about eating a little too far. Next thing you know, Mommy and Daddy have me in this white room, bed that looks like a jail, I'm wearing stripes and there's a big bright white light. A man and woman (calling themselves "nurses") come in and a muttering to each other and looking at me in this jail bed. They drop the rails, tilt my head back and jam this tube down my throat - AHHHHHH! This is almost as bad as when they took me out of Mommy (oh, it was so warm and cozy in there - those were the days)!! Cough, gag - what in the world!!

I think I blacked out - it was so bad! Now, all I know is that I don't have to mess with that bottle anymore. I have a magic pacifier! Mommy puts it in my mouth and then starts fiddling with this other stuff (one of which looks like a bottle, but she never puts it in my mouth) and WALA! I start feeling full. Magic pacifier!

But I still have this funny feeling in my nose, like a constant itch that needs to be scratched. So early this morning, I broke free of that stinking swaddle hold Mommy puts me in all night long (she's obsessed with that swaddle too - she even wakes in the night just to come tighten me down more - torture! can't a girl sleep with her arms above her head for a change?)..... after I quietly had gotten my one arm out, I took the chance to scratch my nose that had been bothering me all night long. Wait, what's that? Why - there's something in there! I thought I'd save my Mommy the trouble of getting me clean in the morning so I gave it a little yank - cough, gag, cough, blegch, gack, cough, sputter.....SWEET RELIEF! The itch is GONE! O glorious day! Mommy was instantly in my face and untangling my hands. I think she was delighted to see how talented I am. That's right Mommy, I got skills!

Next thing you know, Mommy & Daddy have me on the floor with the same sort of tools those nurses had. What's that? Gag, cough, sputter, gag - Mommy, I thought you loved me?

The itch is back. :( Mom says 5 1/2 more weeks, so the countdown begins...

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